Editor's Note: Due to a freak power outage, this obituary of Barbara Bush was written without the benefit of research. In order to pay our respects to this great woman in a timely fashion, we have decided to post this piece as-is. We hope you forgive any errors on our part.
"God of War is the realization of our collective hopes and dreams, not just as gamers, but as gamer-citizens."
I have been accused of many things and my words have been tooken out of context please forgive me and unban me from twitch + roblox.
I'm Max Martin, the Swedish songwriter behind "Baby One More Time," "I Kissed A Girl" and pretty much every hit single of the last twenty years. You might think an ear for melody like mine is a wonderful gift. But you're wrong.
It's nearly been a year since we last checked in on the internet's most terrible ads. What changed? Not much.
Scandal swirls around EPA head Scott Pruitt, but only one of his scandals is interesting.
HEY MAN YOU LOOKIN FOR TABS ? DYLAN WILL GET YOU TABS. HOW MANY TABS YOU WANT ?? BECAUSE DYLAN GOT THEM ALL
Pinfalls have been changed from the standard 3 count to a far more dramatic 300 count. Several times per match, a pinned wrestler musters the strength to miraculously break free after the referee reaches 299.
We must put a stop to Laura Ingraham's offensive show! Join me in a boycott!
I am absolutely thrilled that there is a theme park containing row upon row of customer feedback boxes, stretching out for acres in every direction. What a delight!
BREAKING NOW: a story so dangerous that there are those within our government that might kill to keep it from getting out.
Ma'am, what if I told you I have the miracle of a lifetime right here in this briefcase?
TEH SOCIAL MEDIA FASTBOOK STOLE MY DATA. SOLD IT TOO A HOG CON GAME. WHERED MY DATA GO??>? WHO TEH HELL KNOWS! IM IN DIGITAL HELL
Games Workshop is looking for samples from aspiring Warhammer authors. Since my biggest dream in life is to have a book published, I put together this submission. Fingers crossed!
Levi Johnston confronts his own mortality and offers his support for a new candidate for president.
Self-driving pizza delivery cars were an invention never meant for this world.
A 20ft wall was never going to cut it. We brainstormed like hurricanes and the results are - in all modesty - completely foolproof options for keeping immigrants out.
INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE - The personification of flopsweat, MR. FREEZE (Sean Bean) desperately tries to impress a group of experienced outlaws with cold-themed puns.
Big trouble is coming and you have to be ready to go with a moment's notice.
Yessir, if this family continues to not mention past incidents, Costco could give us all a new lease on life.
Are two squashed cafeteria rolls and a forlorn clump of grey meatfat biscotti on a sea of butcher paper really taking over the world?
Levi Johnston's stint at the Department of Housing and Urban Development leads to serious consequences for Dr. Ben Carson.
In most games you'd hop into your mech and shoot the giant alien bugs until they fell over. Here, you turn Asshole Physics into an art form.
The velvet hoods are now mandatory for all classes and on-campus activities. Do not remove them for any reason.
We're not going to solve gun massacres with bad manners, people.
The guns are gone. Now what happens to all those paper targets? Don't tell me you forgot about the paper targets. The ones hanging from little clips on fancy clotheslines at shooting ranges. With no guns to destroy these legions of paper bastards, they go unchecked.
Grimy horror growler Rob Zombie's scariest music videos finally ranked to warn your children.
As your manager, I couldn't help but notice that productivity is a little low this month, and I think we can leverage this zombie situation to strengthen our teamwork skills.
The only twelve-step program I want to take are the twelve steps it takes to get me out of this room. Give or take a few steps.
Vulture landed an incredible interview with legendary musician and Muppet Rowlf. We break down his wildest claims.
You have four supply, four lemonades, and four profits. You sell them all for two profits. That's pure profit.
All the dirt on the latest thing the President did that you'll forget about in two days.
The Nunes Memo has leaked and it will change the way you view our country forever!
The XFL is coming back in 2020 and I have some ideas for the future of the league.
Cardboard. Seems like an odd material to base a product around, right? You might think it's less durable than plastic, and you're absolutely right. Players won't be able to use Labo inside of a running industrial shredder, as that could potentially damage the cardboard.
Watching a slimy merman and a janitor knock boots for 30 seconds is uncomfortable. Watching that same clip on a loop for days and creating audio for it can break you.
Where is the TomTom Navigator now? 40.7 Latitude, -74 Longitude
Dissatisfied Star Wars fans have taken the women out of the Last Jedi with a new fan edit. They won't stop there.
The fifth phase of the week is upon us. Shops close, bars open, and we are free from the Bosses once more. But They Who Were Before Time await our tribute...
Hungry? Try looking around for a little something called ASTRONAUT FOOD. Or you can hold out until you get to Pluto and look for some berries... if you want to starve to death!
Get in on the ground floor of the hottest new crypto currency sweeping Earthrealm!
Those geniuses in Silicon Valley have done it again and unlocked the true power of chicken.
As you may have heard on the news or from your town crier, all the computer chips stopped working. There was a flaw. It got in there at the very beginning of computers and as chips got faster and smaller the flaw became more powerful and harder to see.
Gentle Creature rescinds his support for Gentle Creature Zuckerberg and turns his attention to the gentlest boy in the whole world.
If global warming is real, why does the Hoth sequence of Empire Strikes Back look exactly the same as it did when the movie first came out?
Jeff Foxworthy's humor endures the waning light of civilization on The Road.
Everybody loves lists! Everybody loves articles about how to get a girlfriend and do the dirty things with her! Everybody loves articles about the upcoming new year!
Missed Christmas? Retain your few remaining friendships with our handy guide.
Cernovich "not surprised" and "had no doubt" Cernovich would boldly succeed where all others have failed.
You might think the Magic Leap headset is understated and not at all ridiculous-looking, but it wasn't always so perfect.