Let's say you spotted High Clothing in this space earlier this week, and you decided to buy one of their radioactive-hued outfits. But color-coordination notwithstanding, it's not safe or practical to wear unshod neon socks on today's rough pavements. You need something that protects you from harsh terrain in style, something like: Hot Boots! But this site offers more than just fashionable solutions to the "feet wearing down to fleshy stumps" problem.

For example, you could plan a boot-themed romantic dinner for two!

Or you could spark up a new friendship based entirely on your mutual appreciation of rugged footwear!

Looking for guys (any age) into boots who just like to kick back in their boots and enjoy a weekend/evening relaxing. Into cowboy boots and harness boots. Just wanting someone to hang with and show our boots off. Who knows -- maybe some boot fun will develop!

But be careful; once you've slid your feet into Hot Boots, you might never want to -- or be able to -- take them off!

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2020 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.